they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize