remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize