Non-Jews are for practice
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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