She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize