I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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