This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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