He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize