Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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