i just had sex bonerless
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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