About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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