We got so high we made milksteak
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize