I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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