I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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