i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize