i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
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you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
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Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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