So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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