I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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