I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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