the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize