Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
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We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I want a musical about memes.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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