I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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