Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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