ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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