Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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