I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
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He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
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The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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