I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
This toilet bowl is my home.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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