i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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