omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
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