Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I AM VODKA MAN
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
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