The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just want nice things and good sex
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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