I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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