stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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