So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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