Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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