also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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