she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
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you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
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Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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