Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
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bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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