if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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