Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize