I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
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He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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