He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
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Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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