my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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