I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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