one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize