Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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