so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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