Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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