I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize