how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Randomize