yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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